Highlights
PET PURSUITS
 It's not enough that Paradise Ranch offers day camp, overnight camp and bed buddies for pampered pooches. They go way beyond that, picking up and delivering your dog in style in the Mutt Cab, an air conditioned Mercedes. Overnights can be spent cage-free in luxurious, hotel-like quarters with human bed buddies so they won't have to sleep alone. Daytime activities include grooming and, for those whose social skills need it, behavioral improvement. Not just any old dog is welcome at the ranch either. They need to be evaluated for suitability, just like applying to a country club.
Paradise Ranch, 10268 La Tuna Canyon Road, Sun Valley, CA 91352; [818 768 8708]; web: www.paradiseranch.net. Office hours 8:30AM – 6PM, Mon – Sat. Directions: On I-5 north of Burbank, take the Penrose St exit and head east on Penrose St. Turn Left on Sunland Blvd and right on La Tuna Canyon Rd.
FESTIVALS AND EVENTS
 The tri-cities of Ferndale, Eureka and Fortuna put lights on just about anything that moves during their annual lighted parade weekend. Beginning on Friday night with the Fortuna Electric Light Parade, it continues Saturday with the Trucker’s Christmas Convoy and ends Sunday with the Ferndale Lighted Christmas Tractor Parade. These much-anticipated events involve pretty much everyone in town and pretty much everything (except plain old cars) that moves. Held rain or shine, the town folk line the streets to watch the decorated trucks, big rigs, farm tractors and wagons parade their holiday finery, decked out with thousands and thousands of lights. Many are decorated with elaborate themes such as the apple picker that was transformed into a fishing elf towing a rainbow trout. Flatbed trucks do their part by carrying music bands or partiers, and there’s plenty of wassailing to keep you warm.
Fortuna Electric Light Parade is held annually in December in Fortuna. Contact the Fortuna Chamber of Commerce, 735 14th Street, Fortuna, CA 95540; [707 725 3959]; web: www.sunnyfortuna.com.
Trucker’s Christmas Convoy is held annually in December in Eureka. Contact the Eureka Chamber of Commerce, 2112 Broadway, Eureka, CA 95501, [707.442.3738]; web: www.eurekachamber.com
Ferndale Lighted Christmas Tractor Parade is held annually in December in Ferndale. Contact the Ferndale Chamber of Commerce; [707 786 4477]; web: www.victorianferndale.org/chamber. Directions: From Hwy. 101, take the Ferndale Exit.
 A kinetic sculpture is an artistic contraption built to travel on land, through mud, and over deep harbor waters. These ludicrous machines can be simple crafts piloted by a single person or they can be quite complex, well-engineered vehicles powered by a team of pilots. Used bicycles, gears and machine scraps usually play a big role in their construction, as do a lunatic sense of humor and a wildly inventive brain. The World Championship Kinetic Sculpture Race covers a whopping 38-mile course that stretches from Ferndale to Arcata, drawing its participants from various other kinetic sculpture races held around the country. Over the course of the three-day event the craft have to cross sand dunes, plunge into open water, descend a steep, slimy mud slope, and make their way through the streets of three towns. It takes physical fitness and endurance to race in this event that is considered the triathlon of the art world.
Whatever the theme of the craft, the owner is usually dressed to match and equipped with theme coordinated "bribes" to sway the judges to overlook infractions of the quirky race rules, one of which stipulates that no pushing or pulling is allowed. The personal security rule requires that each sculpture carry a comforting item of psychological luxury, namely a homemade sock creature made from a not-too-recently washed sock. The honk and pass politeness rule requires yielding the right of way to another sculpture that wants to pass. (A one-finger salute is encouraged.) Time penalties are incurred for rule infractions, while time bonuses are given for carrying a passenger, called a barnacle, along the entire course. Past entries have included a six- man dinosaur, an eight-man iguana, a family of ducks, and a flying saucer. The Mediocre Award is given for finishing exactly in the middle. The Next to Last Award is highly coveted, making the end of the race particularly exciting. Awards are also given for best costume, the most memorable breakdown and the most spectacular water entry, or sinking, as the case may be.
The race, first held in 1969, was founded by sculptor Hobart Brown who was suggested for a Nobel Peace Prize in 1998 for "recognizing unsung genius, promoting non-polluting transport and lifting the spirit" of the communities that hold the race. It all started when he welded extra wheels, seats and handlebars to his son’s tricycle, creating a six-foot tall vehicle he called a "pentacycle." His neighbor, a rival sculptor, made his own version and challenged Hobart to a race down Ferndale's Main Street. On race day, to their amazement, five other wacky contraptions showed up to compete and a legend was born. Hobart himself can be usually be found in his gallery dressed in his signature hi collar, cufflinks, overalls and stovepipe hat.
Kinetic Sculpture Race held annually in May, usually Memorial Day weekend. Contact the Ferndale Arts and Cultural Center that also serves as the Ferndale Kinetic Sculpture Museum, 580 Main Street, Ferndale, CA 95536; [707 845 1717] or; [707 834 0529]; web: www.kineticsculpturerace.org.
ODD SHOPPING
 You've probably never seen a stranger, or more entertaining assemblage of goods than you’ll find at Oceano Nursery. This place is wild, so wild that dinosaurs roam the grounds. So do elephants, giraffes and sharks, huge scrap-metal creatures that sometimes spout water as bizarre garden fountains. These rusted creations share space not just with trees and plants, but with stuff like architectural fragments, wagon wheels, woodcarvings, recycled glass rocks, whimsical sculptures, funky ceramics, aquarium supplies and taxidermy fish in this rambling junk yard/antique store/ gift shop/nursery. This is pack-rat heaven, the place to buy signs that say things like Still Plays With Boats and the perfect place to stock up on stuff that will make people say, "Where on earth did you get that?" They also propagate many of their own plant specimens so even the greenery is unique.
Oceano Nursery, 1311 Paso Robles St, Oceano, CA 93445; [805 489 4456]; fax: [805 773 0017]. Directions: The nursery is located on Hwy. 1 in Oceano, south of San Luis
JUST PLAIN WEIRD
 The college town of San Luis Obispo has a truly unique claim to fame: a narrow alleyway whose walls are densely covered on both sides by tens of thousands of pieces of gum, mostly of the bubble variety. Bubble Gum Alley got its first blob sometime in the 1950s and it became a tradition for students to leave a lasting impression on the town by leaving their wads behind. The city tried several times to clear out the alley, but finally gave up the effort in the 1960s. Today they simply clean the sidewalk once a week. If you want to deposit yours way up high, you’ll need to stand on someone’s shoulders; otherwise, just add it to the globs already there.
Bubble Gum Alley located in downtown San Luis Obispo, CA. Information: Contact San Luis Obispo Chamber of Commerce, 1039 Chorro St, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401; [805 781 2777]; web: www.visitslo.com. Directions: the Alley is on Higuera St, just North of Broad St.
ECCENTRIC ENVIRONMENTS
 Known to his neighbors as Captain Nitt Witt or Dr. Tinkerpaw, recluse Art Beal spent 51 years constructing a different kind of castle than that of his famous neighbor, William Randolph Hearst. Nitt Witt Ridge, as it's called, was Art's "castle on a hill", his "Poor Man's Hearst Castle", three tiers of salvaged materials lovingly assembled by the former garbage collector who worked for the town of Cambria. Using only hand tools and whatever he coulsd scavenge, his castle is constructed of artfully arranged junk, mostly cans, car parts, abalone shells, TV antennas, driftwood, and local rocks. It’s an intricate network of terraced gardens, stone arches and buildings. He never threw anything away and the house still displays his clothing and personal effects as if he still lived there. You can just drive by or, to arrange a tour, call Michael and Stacey O'Malley who recently bought the property and are in the process of restoring it.
Nitt Witt Ridge, 881 Hill Crest Drive, Cambria, CA 93428; [805 927 2690]. Reservations are required. Directions: on Hwy. 1 in Cambria (north of San Louis Obispo), take the Cambria Drive exit and head northeast onto Main St. Turn Left onto Cornwall St, then left onto Hillcrest Drive.
 Patrick Amiot managed to get his neighbors to join him in his peculiar pursuit of displaying zany junk sculptures on front lawns. Known as the Art Street in Sebastopol, Florence Avenue is testimonial to the unifying power of art, a tribute to a community willing to let an eccentric into their midst. When Patrick and his wife Bridgitte, both former ceramic artists, first moved to the small town of Sebastopol (pop 7800), they confined their proclivity for weird art to inside their home, furnishing it with stuff from the flea market and city dump, including a carousel horse they hung from the dining room ceiling and a chair they made from an old metal shopping cart.
Eventually, the clutter spilled outside, filling their yard, front porch and driveway and causing the neighbors concern. Then one day Patrick erected a giant, 15-foot tall junk sculpture of a fisherman and his catch in his front yard and he was transformed from a weirdo to an artist in the eyes of the neighborhood. Even more amazing, some of them asked if he could build a sculpture for their front yards and pretty soon houses on both sides of the street, for several blocks in both directions, boasted one of his whimsical sculptures: a postal worker being chased by a dog, a fireman, Batman, a giant duck made from a motor home, and a surfer among them. Patrick’s own yard now has a giant jukebox and the visitor’s bureau proudly sends folks to wander the art street. You’re welcome to visit his shop. You can’t miss it. Fondness for his sculptures has spread to other parts of town as well.
Art Street in Sebastopol, Florence Avenue, Sebastopol; [707 824 9388]; web: www.patrickamiot-brigittelaurent.com. Directions: Take Highway 101 to Highway 116 West. At downtown Sebastopol, turn left on Bodega Avenue, then go four blocks and turn right on Florence.
PECULIAR PURSUITS
 Perhaps the most memorable experience in this region of the state can be found at the Living Memorial Sculpture Garden, a powerful and haunting tribute to veterans of all wars created by Dennis Smith who formed the sculptures as a way of healing from his own Vietnam war experience. Each of the ten larger-than-life-size metal sculptures depict the passions of war, portraying themes such as Those Left Behind, POW-MIA, The Nurses, The Refugees, and Coming Home. With Mr. Shasta as a powerful backdrop, this outdoor garden and labyrinth is planted with 58,000 pine trees, one for every American soldier lost in the conflict. The setting is one of stark beauty and spirituality and should not be missed.
Living Memorial Sculpture Garden, PO Box 301, Weed, CA 96094; []; web: www.livingmemorialsculpturegarden.org. Directions: the LMSG is on the west side of Hwy. 97, just under a mile north of country road A12.
 Believe it or not, the San Francisco dump has an artist in residence! One of only two such programs in the United States (the other is in New York), the residency provides workspace for up to eight artists each year at the San Francisco Solid Waste Transfer and Recycling Center, otherwise known as the town dump. While you might think this would be an easy gig to get, it’s not. Dozens of artists apply each quarter for the opportunity to go to work—unpaid—in a completely empty warehouse-like space, furnishing it completely from what they can scavenge during several daily trips to the household-trash dumping site. Once they’ve found enough tables, chairs, shelves, and the like, they can spend the next twelve weeks creating any kind of art they wish, using exclusively found materials. The facility does provide certain supplies and equipment such as a kiln, welding tools, a sewing machine and a darkroom. At the end of their residency (they don’t sleep at the dump, they just work there) they hold a reception at which time the public is invited to see, and purchase, their work.
The goal of the Artist-in-Residence Program is to use art to inspire people to recycle and conserve more. The artists are expected to talk to school and adult groups throughout their residency about the experience of turning trash into treasure and to make a few pieces for the company’s permanent collection. Some contribute to the sculpture garden, a lush green oasis incongruously situated on the property amid the rumbling of passing dump trucks. Dump employees also have their own bizarre garden, of sorts, above the dumpsite, displaying their Tonka truck fleet, a giant tiger, a coffin, various mannequins, and anything else that they feel is deserving of display.
Most of the art ends up reflecting the political views of the artists, especially as it relates to environmental issues. Spending that much time seeing what society considers trash is bound to affect their perspective and much of the result is assemblage work, collage and mixed media. According to Sharon Siskin, in residence the summer of 2004, the most frequent categories of dumped items are photos, wallets, purses, handkerchiefs, old records, lace, cooking utensils, crutches, school texts, mirrors, and pictures of the Last Supper. She used these discards to make an exhibit that honored old memories while making a statement about environmental issues.
Artist-in-Residence Program, Contact Norcal Waste, 1 60 Pacific Avenue, Suite 200, San Francisco, CA 94111; [415 875 1205]; web: www.norcalwaste.com/AIR/air_about_us.htm. Directions: shows of the art created by the Artists In Residence are held throughout the year. See the Web site for details.
QUIRKY CUISINE
 Aero Dogs, Home of the Famous Flying Weiner, is a most unlikely experience seeing as how the fast food restaurant is located inside a 9-foot wide, 74-foot long airplane fuselage that is parked on the street in downtown Tulare. Mike Schoenau and his partner, Don LeBaron, spent two years converting the former 1951 US Air Force training plane into the 18-seat restaurant. Don’t expect gourmet here; they serve strictly hot dogs, Frito boats, chips and root beer floats.
Aero Dogs, 240 North L Street, Tulare, CA 93274 [559 685 1230] web: aerodogs.com. Open 10:30 AM to 9PM Mon- Sat, 11 AM to 4 PM Sun. Directions: On CA-99 at Tulare, take the Tulare (CA-137) exit and head towards Tulare on E Tulare Ave. Turn right onto N. L St.
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